


McDonald's, Assassinations and Lesbians

by Ethereal_Eternity, Trucu



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses, King's Raid (Video Game), Political RPF - US 21st c., 明日方舟 | Arknights (Video Game)
Genre: Assassination, Bad Spelling & Grammar, Blowjobs, Broken McNuggies machine, Crack, Death, Donald Trump finally fucking dies, F/F, F/M, Fake boobs, Fortnite Dances, Help, I feel bad for God, Lesbians, Making Out, McNuggies, Mcdonalds au, This Is STUPID, Toesucking, boobs, god is dead and we killed him, horrible, mcdonalds, spitting, the icecream frier works tho, written in notepad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25409917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ethereal_Eternity/pseuds/Ethereal_Eternity, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trucu/pseuds/Trucu
Summary: When Shea walked into a McDonald's after 3 months of Isolation she didn't know what she expected, but it definitely wasn't this.
Relationships: Aak/Warfarin (Arknights), Leonie Pinelli/Shea (King’s Raid)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 2





	1. Oh god oh fuck here we go

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The christian school i went to when i was 11](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=The+christian+school+i+went+to+when+i+was+11).



> Written by me and my two friends in a discord, whilst high on arknights and gay.
> 
> (One of the two friends here. I still don’t remember what I had taken. -Eternity)

Shea entered the coarse McDonalds, just wanting nothing but a summer mix fruit smoothie and a mcnuggies.  
She loved Mcnuggies more than her own nonexistent children.  
she walts up to the counter, avoiding looking at anything. "Hey" says a masculine, yet firm voice, what magnificent voice.  
"huh" she says, looking upqward, her eyes must have beseeched her. Infront of her, dewcked Mcdionalds emplyee uniform, she  
identified the like, only hot ginger ever.  
Her eyes drifdted over top her name tag, 'leonie' was scribbled on, chicken scrawl worst than isobels handwriting.  
"welcome to mcdonalds what can i get ya", The gingerette spoke. "Can i get a uhhh", Leonie yet out a soft sigh, comtemplating  
her lief decision until this point that her here.#

"EAH! excuse me!!" a screeching female voice said, A women with big silicon tits jumped towards the counter.  
Leonie's sigh multiplied by atleast 69. "MY MCNUGGETS HAS HORSE SHIT IN IT" she screeched throughout the store, scaring many a child,  
and the baby~ shea being that said baby.

" uhh sorry i was in the line" ~~ "SHUT THE FUCK UP you cum dumpster"  
"BRuh" Leonie ejaculated.

"UM miss just calm down" ~~ "HOLY MCFUCK THIS FIG is still talking" Leonie felt sorry for the poor cute girl, but hadb to speak back  
quikly before she got another complaint, after she decked that batshit insane dude whos haur looked like a cumshot on a wall  
she hadbto refrain from beating the shit out of another customer or she would get fired ):.  
"WAit lemme check something miss, youll get a refund dw" leonie flatlined, before doing a 180 and going towards the kitchen

As leonie questioned her morality, Junko turned to shea, "ohh im so sorry~~", "Oh no its fine~~" shea wwas off suprisingly,  
"Sorry I shouldnt have called yu a cum dumster, As youre probably NOT GETTING ASNY GETTING ANY DICK YA LOLI",,, 

"umm", shea mumbled "im actually not~~" Yet another shout cut her off, this time from the ginger ninja herself<  
"MIss Im terably sorry," she raised her voice even higher as the wetness in sheas pants grew

Leonie realised something broke, the mcnuggies amchine was hooked up to the horse meat supplier, but it was now dripping  
with a luxurious brown fluid  
"THE MCNUGGIES MACHINE BROKE" all hell broke lose, people ran from the sotre,someone smashed the windows, women and men alike  
open their lungs in peril, warferen jumped from her kneeling postiion besides Aak jumpled trousers and spat onto the drive  
through window.

"Bruh yall mcnuggies too much huh" the ginger spoke, quietly putting on her clown makeup.  
"THATS NOT WHAT HAPPENED YOU BITCH" JUNKO ERECTED "THE FUCKING FUCKIN PRES JUST GOT SHOT"  
" what the fuck lol" aak said, high as fuck, before leaving.

The trio stared at the TV, there lay Donald trumps lifeless body lay ther, exusiai clearly in view, doing the classic wattpad smirk.  
Caspar fire emblem, fortnite dancing on the deadcorspe like the 14 year old her is, Joe Biden sat there, toes in mouth, smiling as  
he sucked those toes damn good, beacsue he was the new predieent opf the usinated states of america.

"wow i cant believ e you drykes didnt notice that are brain dead lol"  
Leonie thought what had brought her here, her whole life, the man she had looked had looked up to now dead, his daughter  
retired in a shitty fishing buisness, she had to carry on his legacy, for Jeralt.

She took a gun out of her newly applied clwon nose, and fucking shot the ultimate despair in her fake ass ficking tits,

"I just wanted a breakfast Mcnugguie samdwihich", as she glanced at the clock clock, now 7pm.

"Uhhh" shea spoke wonderibng if she had smoked to much the night before, wait, "your hot can i kiss you", only now  
noticing Sheas gigantuic ficking tits.  
"oh kay" shea spoke like the nut you probabkly just busted to this fic.

As Junko lay there dying her final moments were spent staring at the scene that was Shea getting pulled onto the counter  
Leonies clown makeup smearing her face as she did a Genocide Jack and shoved her massive tongue directly down her throat  
as they jizzled about on the counter, her final thoughts were "lesbiams are kinda hot lul" her soul transcende into God,  
and that wasthe end of Junko Enoshima

They ran out of breath ajnd pulled away gasoping against eachotehr, Leonie spoke again fianlly, "THe Mcnuggies machine broke,  
But our icrecream frier still working, ya want some?"  
And witht that they got up and lived, happily ever after.


	2. Aka the version in which Eternity has the keyboard.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone who experienced massive grammatical agony reading the original, this is for you.

Shea entered the local McDonalds, just wanting nothing but a summer mix fruit smoothie and an order of mcnuggies. She loved Mcnuggies more than her own nonexistent children. She waltzes up to the counter, avoiding looking at anything. "Hey" says a masculine, yet firm voice, _what a magnificent voice._

“Huh?” she mumbles, looking upward, her eyes must have beseeched her. In front of her, decked in the finest Mcdonalds employee uniform, was the like, only hot ginger ever. (Not true, Nono and Yanne exist.) Her eyes drifted over her uniform top (Doing her best to avoid her breasts). Her name tag read “Leonie” in chicken scrawl worse than Isobel’s handwriting.

"Welcome to Mcdonalds, what can I get ya", The girl spoke.

"Can I get a Mcfuckin uhhh...." Leonie let out a soft sigh, contemplating the life decisions and mistakes that brought her here.

"EAH! excuse me!!" An obnoxious feminine voice cut in, A woman with big silicon tits jumped towards the counter. Leonie's sigh multiplied by at least 69. "MY MCNUGGETS HAS HORSE SHIT IN IT" She screeched, her volume echoing throughout the establishment, scaring many a customer, including the baby in front of the counter.

"Erm, sorry, I was in the line-“ She helpfully adds, hoping to resume her interaction with the cute girl running the register.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU CUM DUMPSTER." The woman replies, hurting both girls’ ears and Shea’s feelings (An unforgivable crime.)

"BRuh" Leonie ejaculated. 

“UM miss just calm down-" Shea is still trying to defuse the situation. Unfortunately, nobody defuses Junko fucking Enoshima, so it clearly doesn’t work.

“HOLY MCFUCK THIS F*G IS STILL TALKING?!" Leonie felt sorry for the poor cute girl, but had to handle the issue quickly before she got another complaint. After decking that batshit insane dude whose hair looked like a cumshot on a wall she had to refrain from beating the shit out of another customer or she would get fired ):. 

"WAit lemme check something miss, you’ll get a refund, don’t worry." Leonie finally jumped in, before doing a 180 and going towards the kitchen. As Leonie questioned her morality, Junko turned to Shea.

"Oh, I'm so sorry." She simpers, clearly lying (or at least it was clear to anyone but Shea.)

"Oh no its fine." Shea was surprisingly not offended.

"Sorry, I shouldn’t have called you a cum dumpster, As you're probably NOT GETTING ANY DICK YOU LOLI!"

"Umm.." Shea mumbled. “I’m actually not-" Yet another shout cut her off, this time from the ginger ninja herself.

"MIss Im terribly sorry," She raised her voice over the previous conversation (and just the Mcdonalds noises, TM) which Shea inexplicably found arousing. Leonie heard something break-the Mcnuggies machine was hooked up to the horse meat supplier, but it was now dripping with a suspicious brown fluid.

“THE MCNUGGIES MACHINE BROKE" At this moment, all hell broke loose. People ran from the restaurant, someone smashed the windows, women and men alike open their lungs in peril, Warfarin jumped from her kneeling position besides Aak’s jumbled trousers and spat onto the Drive-Thru window.

"Bruh yall mcnuggies too much huh" the ginger spoke, quietly putting on her clown makeup.

“THATS NOT WHAT HAPPENED YOU BITCH" Junko exclaimed. "THE MCFUCKIN PRES JUST GOT SHOT"

"What the fuck lol" Aak said, clearly zooted as fuck, before grabbing Warfarin’s hand and leaving (after she reminded him to pull up his pants). The trio stared at the TV, there lay Donald Trump’s lifeless body, Exusiai clearly in view, doing the classic Wattpad smirk, TM. Caspar fire emblem, Fortnite dancing on the dead corpse like the 14 year old he is, Joe Biden sat there, toes in mouth, smiling as he sucked those toes damn good, because he was the new president of the United States of America.

"Wow, I can’t believe you d*kes didn’t notice that. Are you brain dead? Lol.” Junko commented. Leonie thought what had brought her here, her whole life, the man she had looked had looked up to now dead, his daughter retired in a shitty fishing business, she had to carry on his legacy, for Jeralt. 

She took a gun out of her newly applied clown nose, and fucking shot the ultimate despair in her fake ass fucking tits.

“I just wanted a breakfast Mcnuggie sandwich" Junko whined, glancing at the clock, now reading 7pm. 

"Uhhh" Shea stood there, wondering if she had smoked too much the night before. 

”You’re hot, can I kiss you?" Leonie roused her from her thoughts, having only now noticed Sheas gigantic fucking tits.

"Oh, alright." Shea spoke like the nut you probably just busted to this fic.

As Junko lay there dying, her final moments were spent staring at the scene that was Shea getting pulled onto the counter, Leonie’s clown makeup smearing her face as she did a Genocide Jack and shoved her massive tongue directly down her throat.

As they jizzled about on the counter, her final thoughts were _“Lesbians are kinda hot, lul.”_ And thus, her soul transcended up to God, and that was the end of Junko Enoshima.

They ran out of breath and pulled away gasping against each other, Leonie spoke again finally. "THe Mcnuggies machine broke, But our icecream frier still working, you want some?" And with that they got up and lived, happily ever after...

**Author's Note:**

> I am sorry, our other friend called Rothum Lee (very sexy amn) helped aswell


End file.
